the day before

from where i'm standing.....new year's eve........
this morning is full of possibilities.  all of the approximately 24 new year's resolutions I have made seem completely doable, utterly possible, and happily life changing.  The year ahead looks bright.  I love these moments, the anticipatory hours when all things can occur in the future.  The days before a party when one can still imagine that one will be pretty and witty and drink exactly the right amount and come home with a glow.  The weeks before a vacation planning and dreaming, pictures streaming of happy children running and playing, of family fun, sunshine, and bonding.  Today, when I can see myself calmly and sweetly engaged in all my resolutions.  I will wake up each day and post to my blog.  I will go to the pool and swim for 30 minutes, come home and have a healthy bowl of oatmeal and only 2 cups of coffee.  I will go to work and finish paperwork immediately each day.  I will be kind to all and speak only that which is helpful, sincere, and kind.  I will make doctors appointments to check out all the current aches and pains and I will do exactly what the doctor tells me to do, including: take vitamin d and glucosamine, do daily stretching and strength exercises, and stop all activity that inflames my joints, like drinking red wine and eating dark chocolate............In the evenings I will eat a healthy meal with a tiny dessert, I will write, read, make art with no t.v. and I will rest my head calmly, completely ready for the next day.
Seriously, this morning I can picture this so clearly it seems as if it is already happening.
From where I'm standing, anything is possible, and it is a beautiful view.......

day before the day before

this is officially the first post to the blog and i have no idea what i'm doing.  this state has become typical for me in the past year.  I seem to have no idea what i'm doing most of the time and can't remember half of what i'm supposed to remember.  i am hopeful that my new attitude that nobody cares anyway will hold, as this frees a person up to just do anything, right?  anyway, just practicing a post.  peace